Fuse

That’s it

That feeling right…

There

It’s caught my breath in my chest.

Oh no

Now that..

That’s the knot.

I know this

This feeling

It isn’t me

No, please say

It isn’t me

It’s him isn’t it

It’s him that runs

Runs through my veins

My father

He comes out in me

I cannot control it

Deep Breath

But it hurts

My eyes

They’re moist with tears

Just let it out

If only

I just let it out

No, this isn’t me.

Breath

Please Breath

Count

5

4

3

2

1

Eyes open

Dilated

Now I see

Now I feel

This is what it is like to be him

I have tried to run

But you are in my veins

I cannot dispose

Only grow

5

4

3

2

1

Now breath

I’m me.

Only me.

Finally, I am me.

Cassie Redfearn

Letter

GoDogGoCafe.com Tuesday Writing Prompt–Today’s prompt: End a piece of prose or poetry with the phrase “I miss you”

Grandma, 
Mom use to tell me stories
Of memories she has with you.
Many of those stories
Were toward the end of your life.
They often left me wondering
What your life must have been like
Before the cancer set in. 
Many others have told me 
what a wonderful
And beautiful soul you were.
I believe that,
Even though it leaves a lot up
To the imagination. 
Curiosity of your laughter,
Your quick witted responses, 
Or your compassion for others
Chase me around like day dreams.
What must you have been like
In your quiet moments when the world was still
And your thoughts had room to dance 
Around in your head?
I imagine you were full of lofty ideas,
Like myself. Like mom. 
Your memoirs sit on my desk.
Your words remind me of myself.
But they also remind me of my mother
And at times, my sister.
They make me feel connected
To a woman I never got to know,
Being only six months old
When it was your time to go. 
Tears come so easily
Reading the words of a woman 
full of pain at the end of her life 
with nothing left to gain.
Your last entry hits the hardest, 
written only days before your last breath. 
How incredibly powerful 
those few lines are to me
having never known your smile,
Your voice,
Your laughter,
Or your touch,
But feeling your pain with ease.
My only life line to you
Has extended across 
the barrier of life and death.
I have wanted to know you
All these years,
Like there is a piece of me missing. 
An irreplaceable love 
That I can never share with another person
Nor can I will feel in another way.
Despite only knowing you through photographs
And the way your “W” curves at the end,
There’s really only one way to express how I feel.
I miss you.
Cassie C Redfearn